Identifying & Building Resilience Around Stress – Debbie Mills

The Flight – Fright response was a survival mechanism to react towards real life stressors. In todays modern world , most of those stressors have been replaced by e.g. financial difficulties, business struggles, relationship problems, traffic jams, worrying about the future or living in the past, e.t.c. Most of these stressors stem from our thoughts & perceptions. If we don’t manage our stress & allow it to become chronic, it can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout & rob us of happiness & stop us from leading a fulfilling life. Managing stress requires change & that can make you feel extremely uncomfortable. There is no “one size fits all” solution, as we all have a different response to stress. Try methods that you are drawn to you & which help you feel in control & calm Here are some practical strategies to implement: Identify The Source Of Your Stress: This isn’t always easy, as it can be hard to find. So here are two tips:

• Often our stress can be traced back to a thought we had. Our thoughts determine our feelings – our feelings determine our actions & our actions determine our outcomes. For example, if you think a work deadline is going to be difficult to achieve (your thought), you may feel overwhelmed (the feeling) & a procrastinate (your action) & don’t reach your deadline (outcome). In this example there was no action taken. Changing your thoughts is a choice! Becoming aware of your thoughts is critical – If you have a negative thought about something & change it into a positive one you are more than likely to have a better outcome
• Look at the things you say & explore your attitude/s. Do you say things like “My business/career is stressful“ or do you say “I had a busy day today“ ? Do you blame others for your stress, or do you see stress as part of a busy day ?

Develop Emotional Resilience: This can help you deal with pressure, to bounce back from adversities & reduce the impact that stress has on your life. Here are some tips:

• Build self-acceptance – Learn to accept your positive & negative attributes, your strengths & weaknesses – without judgement. Question the negative messages you tell yourself. Ask, “Are they true ?“. “Where is the proof?“ Remember thoughts & opinions aren’t facts!
• Express your emotions in a mindful & respectful manner.
• Keep a gratitude diary – List everything you are grateful for EVEN in times of stress. It’s a gentle reminder to yourself of all the good in your life.

Change Your Situation Or Reaction: If a situation is causing your stress – avoid it. Obviously if something needs to be addressed, then look at ways to do so in a positive manner. Look at your reactions & perceptions to situations. What do you need to change ? Do you need to stop assuming, presuming? Practice active listening & communicate in an open & respectful manner. “Give your stress wings and let it fly away“ – Terri Guillemets Note: Please seek professional help if you aren’t coping with your stress. Article published in Kickass Bosslady Magazine, May 2020, issue 2, page 38 – “Identifying & Building Resilience around Stress.”